Those Eyes
by Tourniquet
Summary: Hermione reflects upon her relationship with Draco as she lays in his arms one night.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Those Eyes**

**Summary: A short fanfic. Hermione reveals her thoughts one night as she lays in bed with Draco and he sleeps. Not a happy one. **

**Rating: PG-13**

**Author: Tourniquet**

His eyes. 

They always get to me. Eyes the color of ice - of slick pavement in the harsh month of February. They hold no warmth towards me.

Those eyes.

Eyes that follow me when I move. They move under lashes tinged with white. They never show me anything.

Yes I know I have eyes that read like an open book. If he wants to know how I'm thinking or feeling, he just looks into my brown eyes that can't hide a thing.

How I'd kill for his eyes.  I hate how he can tell everything that I'm experiencing by looking at my face.

Get away from me Draco.

You won't let me in. You never will. 'You are not good enough for me.' You whisper in my ear before lifting my skirt and fucking me against the cold stone walls of your room. I don't like your room. It makes me shiver. I crave the warmth of my bedroom and the Gryffindor common rooms but you won't touch me except when we are in here.

Why do I take it? 

Perhaps it's the feeling you give me when we are together. I hate everything about you, but I am with you. The feeling of forbiddingness makes me tingle.

In a world where I am numb to everything except the thoughts in my head and the hatred I feel.

The nights when you fall asleep with me your arms and in your bed I stop to think about what I'm feeling.

I hate everything about you. 

I hate your mocking eyes. Your rough touch. Wait. That's not true. I like it. I like it when you make me bleed. I realize that my heart is still bleeding when I bleed. It removes the emptiness for a period of time.

I hate your stupid walk. You think you own everything including me. And you do. You own me and love it. 

I hate how you undress me with your eyes when I walk into a room. You make me feel naked. Yes Draco, I know you are thinking and planning the next time you can take me. Just leave me in peace for once.

You just mumbled in your sleep Draco. You whispered something sweet that you'd kill me if you knew I heard you. You pulled me closer and rubbed your cheek against mine. This is why I stay.

For these moments. You laugh at me when you have me against the wall or underneath you and I hate you. But when you are not watching; I love you all over again. When you hold me close in your arms and you sigh in your slumber, I can only imagine that you love me too. 

If you only saw me Draco. I'm lightly tracing your pale lips with a fingertips and smiling. You can't feel it. If you did, you'd slap my hand away, hollering about a 'Mudbloods' touch.

Don't worry. I won't tell.

I've seen the pictures of your father. His fake smile is just like yours. 

It's those eyes of his that worry me. They are colder than yours. I never thought there was such thing until I saw that picture.

You are so obvious Draco. All boys hide their most treasured things under the mattress. I wasn't surprised when I pulled out the picture of you and Lucius. I almost screamed when I saw that portrait.

Why do you keep it? To remind yourself of some hidden secret?

You're bleeding in the picture. He strikes you down and your face is full of terror. I want to confront you about it, but you can't know I've seen it. You'd push me even farther away if that's possible.

Sleep on Draco. I'm watching over you. I will protect you from him. Not directly of course, but by letting you hurt me. You release something in that. By letting you hold me at night and having me wipe the tears of your sleep.

It's a good thing you always have a hankerchief around. I don't think you'd like me using mine to soak up your salty tears. Sometimes I kiss them away to make sure they are not real. You wouldn't like that. A Mudblood kissing away your tears. Don't worry, I won't tell.

You're opening you eyes Draco. Yes, It's morning and no I haven't slept. Why would I let myself sleep away one minute of sleeping in your arms when I could memorize your visage instead.

No Draco, of course I wouldn't dream of telling Harry and Ron about this.

Yes Draco, I know you'd kill me if I did.

Yes Draco, I know you hate everything about me because I hate everything about you. So why do I love you?

Stop it Draco. Don't hurt me like this. You know you don't want to. Why do you have your hands wrapped around my neck. You're squeezing harder. 

You can see the panic in my eyes. Your eyes reflect something new.

The life is draining away from me. Yes, I did say 'I love you.'

It's too late now Draco. You're holding me in your arms. You press your lips against mine, but I can't manage to press mine back. The silent tears of your slumber have returned. They drip off your smooth cheeks and onto mine. Don't try to wipe them away. Don't be ashamed. I've seen them before.

It's too late though. You whisper you love me but it's too late. I manage to smile weakly and then I'm gone.

It was in those eyes. They showed me that you actually loved me. Those eyes revealed something and I was able to let go. Looking in those eyes.

Reviews are nice.

A second part could be written.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: Those Eyes Pt. 2**

**Rating: PG-13**

**Summary: How did Hermione's death affect Draco? It is angst-y as usual.**

**Author: Tourniquet**

AN: I wasn't going to write a second part, but for all those who left me with such fantastic and detailed feedback, this is for you. Enjoy.

-Tourniquet

Those Eyes Pt. 2

The ceiling is grey. Covered in cobwebs and mold from the leak in it. The water drips for most hours each day. It used to drive me insane, but with the passing of two years in this cell; I have grown used to it.

Father is coming tomorrow night. 'We'll get you out of there' he said the moment after the trial verdict.

Yeah. Right. It has been over two years in here. 

Now he just informs me of the Dark Lord's activites and promises that I will be released once He is brought to his full power.

I find it amusing when he says it. I don't care, not in the least. 

It's rather similar to when I plead 'guilty'.  I couldn't care what sentence they gave me.

I deserve this hell hole. I don't even deserve to be alive.

I know if I had been tried in a Muggle court they would have had me put to death. 

I can only dream of the day.

The day when my suffering ends.

There is a spider crawling on my leg. 

Tonight there was red gelatin on my tray.

Red gelatin.

It was her favorite.

I never let her know that I knew, I couldn't; it would have shown that I cared.

A Demontor just passed my cell. I can't feel a thing when they are near. Haven't since I arrived.

What happy feelings could I have to steal?

That I murdered the only person I ever loved? Very joyful. 

That I am confined to this room for the rest of my dreadful life? So estastic.

They don't even come near me anymore. Somehow they can comprehend that I have nothing to give.

The spider is making his way towards my arm.

Stroking the one picture I have somehow kept with me, I smile.

It's not a joyful smile. A sad one, a remorseful one.

She smiles back at me, not moving. It's a Muggle photograph I swiped from her backpack one frigid January day. She had fallen asleep for once instead of watching me like she enjoyed doing.

She never knew I was awake of course. How I could I reveal the fact when I would halt her actions.

Those tears. They were for the words she spoke, not the dreams I was having. She will never know that.

Those shivers. They were not from the dreams either. They were caused by her soft touch upon my cheek or lips. She will never know that either.

Oh Hermione.

You will never breathe a breath of this world again. 

You will never yell at me and call me 'ferret'. I enjoyed the nickname. I cursed Potter when he called me that after you were gone. _Nobody_ but you could call me that.

I was your 'ferret' and you were my 'Mudblood'.

Sweet Hermione, you will never kiss my lips again.

Never again will I hold you in my arms late at night, and relish in your touch.

I lied Hermione.

I didn't hate anything about you. I loved everything about you, from the adorable freckles on your nose to the scowl you awarded me when I insulted you.

I loved you Hermione.

No. I love you. 

Even though you are gone, my love hasn't faded. 

It keeps me alive.

During the nights when I crave to injury myself, just the thought of you stops me.

Loving Hermione.

Why did I harm you? Why did I rid this Earth of your joyful shine?

I don't know.

All I do know, and can be sure of, when nothing is certain is that I would take it back if I could.

I never regretted anything in my life until that day.

Are you happy Hermione love?

I never believed in a heaven until you.

I have to convince you are there, for I couldn't bear to think of you and your loveliness being over. 

I have a knife Hermione.

Would you take me back if I came to join you?

Or would you turn you back on me?

I wouldn't blame you. I don't deserve your forgiveness.

You're smiling at me Hermione. You **must **have forgiven me. Your picture is proof.

My wrist is bleeding. The spider is crushed in my fist. Soon I will be with you.

I will hold you in my arms again. I will feel your lips pressed against mine and your soft body under my hands.

The blood is soaking into the mattress. It drips onto the floor.

I feel no pain; I can almost feel your love again.

Soon my sweet Hermione, soon I will be with you.

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_Better or worse?___

_I don't think there with be a third part. How can there be when they are both dead? *look* ideas for a 3rd are welcome though, if y'all have any suggestions. ^_^_

_Reviews are also nice. _


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